Not sure what to call this one

This is more of a rant than a post. I'm really frustrated and kind of sad. I have a friend that I've known since freshman year of undergrad. She was my roommate when I got my first apartment off campus. Well sadly this weekend, I found out that she has deteriorated mentally. She is currently in a paranoid state and travelling aimlessly. She called me for the first time in about a year and a half and she didn't sound well. I asked her to let me help her and she wasn't cooperative. Finally I called the police in her state and asked them to send an ambulance to her. She refused treatment and is now travelling somewhere else. I am very worried about her and I feel helpless. I know that ultimately I can't help her until she is ready to be helped, but it still worries me. So that is why I'm sad at the moment.
I'm also steaming hot because a second friend of mine showed me the true extent of her selfishness. I have always known she was a self-centered and selfish person, but I guess I deluded myself about the extent of it. Every other friend I have that has met her, comments on how selfish she is, but I always defended her. I mean I have no illusions about myself (well maybe a few.. I still believe that I could marry The Rock and be quite happy!) I know that I can be self-centered sometimes as well. I guess I just assumed she was only really selfish for unimportant stuff and that if there were a true emergency or something important she would rise above it and do "what's right". I was so very wrong. Part of the reason I'm mad is because she has never hidden her selfish behavior. I blame myself for not paying attention to what she has shown me via her behavior for years. This is one of those situations where I think I'm just as much to blame as her because I refused to see what was apparent to everyone else. I know I'll get over it in a few days, but I'll never be as willingly blind again. Hopefully!
On a better note. I have been kind of a slacker in my bootcamp. There are two instructors and one of them makes a point of standing next to me often when he is calling out the exercises, then eyeballing me to make sure I'm keeping up. Usually I'm not keeping up. If we do 55 sit-ups I probably only complete 40. Twenty-five squats usually turns into about 18. You get the picture. When we run I'm usually in the last group coming in. Well I was so frustrated and angry about last weekend events that this week I have moved into the middle group. Seriously y'all I had my "Eye of the Tiger" game-face on. I was working off some major frustration. The instructor even went so far as to tell me I was "on fire!" If you believe in prayer please add my dear friend and myself to your prayer lists.

Boot Camp Update and Micheal Jackson

I haven't been posting the last couple of days for a number of reasons. I started my BootCamp on Monday. It is really kicking my butt. I'm gonna stick with it though. Hopefully I'll be able to keep up a reduced workout schedule once my month is over. I'm not the worst one in the class but I can give her a high five without extending my arm all the way. Oh well. I think this is good for me. I needed to kick start my exercise program and this is a very strong kick in the behind.
I am still processing the whole Michael Jackson is dead thing. I was in the mall when I found out. It sounds silly but it was kind of in slow motion. This girl next to me at the Sephora store let out a shriek and started babbling about how she couldn't believe it. Me being the nosy person I am, asked her what was wrong. Her sister had just sent her a text that Michael was dead. It took a minute to sink in. I found myself strangely sad. Not in the dramatic throw yourself on the coffin way but a little more than the "a human being just left this earth" way. I don't know if I'm making sense. Whenever I hear about any death I feel a base level of sadness. Mostly for the surviving relatives and friends and just acknowledging that a fellow being is no longer alive. This was a little more than that. Maybe the kind of sadness associated with an acquaintance, but not a relative. Which is strange in and of itself because I never met him. I've decided the sadness is mostly because when I forget about the most recent scandals associated with him I can remember good things. I remember excellent parts of my childhood that involved his music. Kind of like if your Grandma always baked pumpkin pie for Christmas and you randomly smell pumpkin pie baking you think of Christmas with Grandma. So without further ado here is a short list of thank yous for the now deceased Michael Jackson.

• Thank you for the hours I spent singing ABC and Rockin' Robyn into my pink portable "sing with me" cassette player and matching microphone.
• Thank you for Thriller and the memory I have of a lot of my extended family gathered around the t.v. watching it. I remember my baby brother who would be embarrassed to know that I remember he was afraid of the werewolf. He grabbed my leg. Strangely the zombies didn't bother him.
• Thank you for the genius that is PYT that song has been in heavy rotation with me since I first heard it.
  
• The moonwalk. I never could get it right but my older brother could do it.
• Red or black zipper jackets. I wanted one so bad because my brothers had them. My aunt did buy me a sequined glove to make up for the fact that I didn't get the jacket.
• Thanks for the countless bruises to my shin whenever I didn't judge distance correctly trying to do your dances. I kicked many tables and chairs in my quest to "do the Michael Jackson".
• Thanks for the black eye I got when my younger brother and I re-enacted the knife fight from Beat It using a jump rope to tie our hands and licorice as knives. His hand slipped and he clocked me a good one.
  
• Thanks for always putting on a performance worthy of the excitement I felt when I knew you were going to perform.
• Thanks for being a hot mess after plastic surgery so I knew I better love my face because surgery doesn't always improve.
  
• This last thank you is a little sad, but here goes. Thanks for providing fodder for countless Michael Jackson jokes as the years wore on. I should be ashamed because some of the jokes were inspired by your no doubt drug induced behavior, but they were funny and I laughed.

I hope you are at peace now. I went to a bar on Saturday and the DJ played three and a half hours of Michael's music. I danced the night away and just celebrated with a room full of people who felt the same way I did. Michael and his music was just such a fixture in my life I never even considered he wouldn't be around anymore. I'm sorry your life was so troubled, but I'm very happy that I have a long list of things to thank you for.

Way Down in the Jungle Deep....

Points to anyone who knows off the top of their head where I got the heading to my post. Last night was a pretty relaxed night for me. I went to Target to get the things I need for my bootcamp. I'm getting nervous as the time to start gets closer. The trainer, Jonas, specified exercise mats not yoga mats. What's the difference you might ask? Ten to fifteen dollars that's what. I spent about 20 minutes molesting exercise and yoga mats in the store to determine the difference between the two. There is a big enough difference in price that I need to be sure it's worth it. I finally bit the bullet and picked out one of the "exercise" mats. Of course I chose the one that was only $10 more expensive than the yoga mat. I also needed dumbbells. He sent an email requesting that we bring 5-8 lb weights. I want 2-3 lb weights. I was gonna just say f' it and get the 2lb weights then pride stopped me. I don't want to be the only one with pink 2lb weights when everyone else is using five.
Later that night I met up with my friend Melanie. She is on my kickball team and she is an archaeologist. I love that the closest most people get to an archaeologist is watching Indiana Jones, but I know several and they are all women. Look out now! Anyway we decided to drink cheap but delicious box wine and watch......ready for it ....Dolemite!!! Yes, we watched the epic blaxpoitation flick. Rudy Ray Moore at his peak. I'm sure I just set black folks back a couple of generations but I do love these movies. They are vulgar, the acting is usually bad, and they are totally not politically correct. I don't care.

To Booze or Not to Booze

I signed up to do one of those exercise bootcamps here in town. I don't know what exactly to expect. My bootcamp starts on the 29th of this month and ends the 24th of next month. It will be from 5:30am to 6:30am Monday to Friday. Crazy I know. I just wanted something to help me kick-start my exercise routine. I was very blase about it when I signed up but as the day gets closer I find myself getting worried. What if I'm the worst one in the class? We'll see. I also don't know if the instructor is gonna be a yeller like Louis Gosset Jr. in An Officer and A Gentleman. There is a reason I never even toyed with the idea of joining the military. I really don't like to be told what to do. Which lets you know signing up for this bootcamp is a big leap for me. Also, I had to sign a contract that says I won't drink or eat junk food during the month of bootcamp. I can easily cut out junk food, but alcohol? I find myself getting thirsty just thinking about cutting it out. hahahahaha I'm sure it will be good for me. I'm hesitant to give up all alcohol, but at least it's just alcohol not coffee. Giving up coffee would be a deal-breaker for me. I'm on my second cup as I write this blog! Big, full day of running errands ahead of me so I'm gonna start my day. Happy Saturday!