Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Black Cherry Mojitos

I got a text from a friend today. He used to be a bartender here in town, then he moved and now he's back for Christmas.  It brought back swift and pleasant memories.  *sighing in remembrance*  The times/drinks I had!!!  He makes the best black cherry mojito around. And I should know.  I have sampled mojitos all over town and his were definitely the best.  I haven't had a good one since he left!  Anywho this got me to thinkin' I haven't yet let slip any of my tips on my "Pauper Princess" lifestyle.   So here goes:
  1.  Throw yourself a free birthday party.  See my previous post about the Pajama Pub Crawl.  I spent nothing all night.  When I say my drinks were free I'm talking Patron baby.  Bartenders were only too happy to pour loose 'cause I was rolling 50 deep!!!
  2. Make friends with bartenders.  Young and old, male and female.  You have to be a bit of a Chatty Cathy, but this comes naturally to me. For the guys you are the cute girl they love to see come through the door.  For the women you are the one they make eye-contact with to roll their eyes when some troll is hitting on them. 
Seriously, I have had nights where myself and friends will drink most of the night and at the end of the night my "friendly neighborhood bartender" charges us $5 total.  I love it.  Now when you get such a good hook-up on alcohol you  gotta leave a good tip.  And it is critical to have more than one fnb.  Don't be afraid to travel outside of your actual neighborhood.  You never know when your fnb is gonna up an move taking his delicious black cherry mojito making skills with him. 
I was only gonna spill one tip, but since it's Christmas time I gave ya two.  I'm heading home to CA today.  Hopefully I'll be able to keep up my blog while I'm there.  

Monday, December 22, 2008

My 100 Things

I just started this blog and already I'm stealing stuff from other bloggers.  I took this from MadameK's blog.  The bold entries are things I have done.

  1. Started your own blog. (just this week as a matter of fact)
  2. Slept under the stars. (Of course this also means on top of bugs and crawly things)
  3. Played in a band. (I'm sure orchestra doesn't count)
  4. Visited Hawaii
  5. Watched a meteor shower.
  6. Given more than you can afford to charity. 
  7. Been to Disneyland
  8. Climbed a mountain. (in elementary school we spent a week at Scicon  they have this huge mountain and it takes all day to go from bottom to the top and back down.)
  9. Held a praying mantis. 
  10. Sang a solo.
  11. Bungee jumped. (Do black people do this?)
  12. Visited Paris.
  13. Watched a lightning storm at sea.
  14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.
  15. Adopted a child. (Who would give me a child?)
  16. Had food poisoning.
  17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
  18. Grown your own vegetables.
  19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
  20. Slept on an overnight train.
  21. Had a pillow fight. (I am the queen at pillow fighting.)
  22. Hitch hiked.
  23. Taken a sick day when you're not really sick.
  24. Built a snow fort.
  25. Held a lamb.
  26. Gone skinny dipping.
  27. Run a Marathon.
  28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice. (My friend and I were scheduled to vacation in Italy November of 2005, but had to cancel after Katrina)
  29. Seen a total eclipse
  30. Watched a sunrise or sunset.
  31. Hit a home run.
  32. Been on a cruise.
  33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
  34. Visited the birthplace  of your ancestors.
  35. Seen an Amish community. (Took a trip to Iowa for my baby brother's college graduation.)
  36. Taught yourself a new language. (I'm working on it)
  37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. (Peep the title of my blog!!!)
  38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.
  39. Gone rock climbing.
  40. Seen Michelangelo's David
  41. Sung karoke. ( I own my own karoke machine.  I am sooooo very good.  If I could sing, I would be famous!!)
  42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt.
  43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant.
  44. Visited Africa
  45. Walked on a beach by moonlight. ( Saw two people doing the nasty on a beach lounger. Always put a towel down before you stretch out on one of those things!!)
  46. Been transported in an ambulance.
  47. Had your portrait painted.
  48. Gone deep sea fishing.
  49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.
  50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
  51. Kissed in the rain.
  52. Played in the mud.
  53. Gone to a drive-in theater.
  54. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling. (loved snorkeling in Antigua... clear water)
  55. Been in a movie. 
  56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
  57. Started a business.
  58. Taken a martial arts class.
  59. Visited Russia.
  60. Served at a soup kitchen.
  61. Sold Girl Scout cookies. (I was a Girl Scout for about 3 weeks!!)
  62. Gone whale watching.
  63. Got flowers for no reason.
  64. Donated blood,platelets or plasma.
  65. Gone sky diving. (Once again, do black people do this?)
  66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
  67. Bounced a check
  68. Flown in a helicopter
  69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.
  70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.
  71. Eaten Cavier
  72. Pieced a quilt.
  73. Stood in Times Square.
  74. Toured the Everglades.
  75. Been fired from a job.
  76. Seen the Changing  of the Guards in London.
  77. Broken a bone.
  78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.
  79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
  80. Published a book
  81. Visited the Vatican
  82. Bought a brand new car.   (and the White Knight is still rolling fine)
  83. Walked in Jerusalem.
  84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
  85. Read the entire Bible.
  86. Visited the White House.
  87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.
  88. Had chickenpox
  89. Saved someone's life.
  90. Sat on a jury.
  91. Met someone famous.  (Magic Johnson, Hill Harper, Jim Belushi, Drew Carey)
  92. Joined a book club.  (Shout out to "The Society of Dilletantes")
  93. Lost a loved one.
  94. Had a baby. ( And this is not by accident)
  95. Seen the Alamo in person.
  96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
  97. Been involved in a lawsuit.
  98. Owned a cell phone.
  99. Been stung by a bee.
  100. Read an entire book in one day.

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Foxxy's Second Annual Pub Crawl

  
My birthday was the first week of december.  To celebrate I organized "Foxxy's Second Annual Pajama Pub Crawl".  It was a blast.  I would guess that I had about 50 people (most of them in jammies) attend.  

Of course my jammies had to be the best.  I ordered adult footy pajamas and then bedazzled them to make them jazzy. (Yes I said BEDAZZLED, or in my case Gem-Magic, bedazzler's cheaper/cooler cousin).  I used iron-on letters to spell out "This is Why I'm Hot" on the back and then just went crazy with the little bedazzle jewels.    When I finished I first thought my jammies looked like an Elvis jumpsuit, but on further reflection I think Evil Kineivel.  He's more badass!

The best part of my outfit was the flashing tiara and septor. I was the shit! (forget that I am the shit).  To top it off, it was a totally free night for me.  Bartenders gave me shots of Patron because I brought them GOOD business.  (my friends are very good drinkers!!)

Last year during the pub crawl Drunk Foxxy decided that as long as a man could provide bacon and cheese, he met all of my qualifications in a mate.  Seriously I can't make this crap up.  Thankfully my friend B, was there to remind me that I require a few other things. That's when I asked him if he had bread also.  This year my friend "the Divine Miss A" was keeping her eagle-eye of protection on me.   She saved me from a few ill-advised kisses and made sure I made it home with no damage to my fabulous footy pajamas.  

These are my new favorite pajamas.  I could live in them. They are so comfortable and since I live alone, there is no one to laugh at me when I slide on my hardwood floors.  If you don't have a pair of adult footy or onesie jammies then you are missing out.  The thing about footies is that since they are all in one and cover you from neck to toe you forget they are jammies and not meant for outside.  My neighbors are all tired of catching me in my footies. I check my mail, take my laundry off the clothesline and dump my garbage in my footies.  My friend drew the line when I tried to go with him to the McDonald's drive thru in them.  I am thinking about doing a little more bedazzling to them. We'll see.

I can't imagine  that any other city would be as open to a pub crawl like this.  New Orleans is definitely special.  It is one of the reasons I heart NOLA.  

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Something Else

Since I've been sick this week, I've watched a lot of movies.  I have to watch dvd's because I don't have cable and only get two crappy channels.  Soon I'll get no crappy channels if I don't buy a digital converter.  Anyway I digress. 

 So I watched "Something New".  The movie stars Sanaa Latham and  Simon Baker.  Basically Sanaa plays Kenya a workaholic young black woman from an affluent family looking for her IBM. (For those not in the know, IBM= Ideal Black Man).  After being lonely for yet another Valentines Day and fearing becoming  one of the dreaded 44.2 percent she accepts a blind date. (44.2% refers to the number of black women who have never been married according to a much quoted Essence article a few years ago.  )  She vows to be more open and less rigid in her standards for an acceptable man.  Well her blind date turns out to be Brian (Simon Baker) a super cute landscape architect that just happens to be white. oh gasp!!  This is not her idea of open.  So the movie is basically about the two of them navigating an interracial relationship.  And dating white men is presented as "something new" for black women,  an alternative to dating black men that wasn't considered an option before.

I'm here to tell you, I tried something new and it is not new.  Truthfully it is more like something else.  My conclusion is: a man is a man in any color.  I don't know what I expected, but it wasn't what I got.  He still left my toilet seat up when he visited.  He still told ridiculous potty jokes.  He still broke my heart when we parted.(I should have known he wouldn't last because Mr. Bunny never liked him!)  The new was made up of things that had nothing to do with race.  It had more to do with the fact that it was really my first grown up relationship.  Nothing more , nothing less.  The crazy in the relationship had nothing to do with race either.  In fact race was a very small part of the relationship.  Ultimately I picked the same man I usually pick, just in a different color.  Like buying the same great fitting shirt in a couple of colors.  They will fit the same and wear out the same. So a little heads up to my fellow sisters of color:  If you're thinking about starting a relationship with someone of another race in hopes of something new, what you'll get is something else.  

Friday, December 19, 2008

The Exorcist Revisited

I have a really wicked stomach virus this week.  Not pleasant at all.  I am very hungry, but my gut is "actin' a fool". (Am I the only one that still uses this phrase?)  It came on very suddenly at the beginning of the week and is lingering.  I am so mad!! I don't know about you, but I have become accustomed to eating everyday.  Usually more than one time a day too.  Being sick sucks.  Even Mr. Bunny is ready for me to get my act together and head out.  (When I'm unhappy noone, not even  innocent bunnies can escape my wrath) To top it off it is like 75 degrees today and beautiful outside so my neighbor is grilling and I can smell delicious food that is making me even hungrier even as my stomach clenches in pain.  To top it off I only get two crappy channels on the television because I don't have cable.  So I can suffer through whatever asanine soap is on the first channel or watch the christian channel that is super clear.  Why is it that everywhere you go the christian station always has the strongest signal?  

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Doctors Cost Money!

So, I'm embarrased to admit that once I almost killed myself.  No, I wasn't suicidal and no I wasn't depressed.  What I was/am  was "broke".  I had recently gotten my first real job after college and still had another month before I was elligible for health insurance.  Well pneumonia is not on a fiscal calendar.  After almost a week of symptoms with increasing severity, my former roomate came home to find me laying on the bathroom floor wheezing and trying to open the child-proof top on a bottle of tylenol.(My struggles with child-proof tops will be discussed at a later date.)  Our conversation went a little something like this:

Roomie: What are you doing down there? 
 
Me:          Praying

Roomie:  Oh, makes sense cause you look like you are dying.  You should go to the doctor. I'm tired of listening to you cough all the time.

Me:         Doctors cost money.  My health insurance kicks in next month.  This will pass. (wheezing heavily at this point)

Roomie:  Look at you.  I am not going to explain to the Minister (my mother) how I watched  you die in our bathroom.  If you don't go, I'm calling the Minister.
 ( Calling each other's parents was a cover your ass last resort.  To my caucasian friends I will explain that the most dangerous thing to do in the world is explain to a black mother how preventable harm came to their child in your presence!!! Trust me you don't want to go there!)

Me: You wouldn't dare!!

Roomie: I'm dialling now!!

Me: Tattle-Tale!!

So she did call.  And the Minister ripped me a new over the phone then ponied up the money for me to go to a doctor the next morning.  Turns out I had pneumonia and my lungs were very inflamed.  The doctor debated on whether or not to hospitalize me for a few days.  Of course I did some quick talking to avoid that because "hospitals cost money!"  When I look back it seems so stupid. I knew my mother would give me the money if I asked but I didn't want to ask.  Sadly this was not my first or last stupid decision motivated by money or more specifically my lack of it.