To Booze or Not to Booze

I signed up to do one of those exercise bootcamps here in town. I don't know what exactly to expect. My bootcamp starts on the 29th of this month and ends the 24th of next month. It will be from 5:30am to 6:30am Monday to Friday. Crazy I know. I just wanted something to help me kick-start my exercise routine. I was very blase about it when I signed up but as the day gets closer I find myself getting worried. What if I'm the worst one in the class? We'll see. I also don't know if the instructor is gonna be a yeller like Louis Gosset Jr. in An Officer and A Gentleman. There is a reason I never even toyed with the idea of joining the military. I really don't like to be told what to do. Which lets you know signing up for this bootcamp is a big leap for me. Also, I had to sign a contract that says I won't drink or eat junk food during the month of bootcamp. I can easily cut out junk food, but alcohol? I find myself getting thirsty just thinking about cutting it out. hahahahaha I'm sure it will be good for me. I'm hesitant to give up all alcohol, but at least it's just alcohol not coffee. Giving up coffee would be a deal-breaker for me. I'm on my second cup as I write this blog! Big, full day of running errands ahead of me so I'm gonna start my day. Happy Saturday!

Doing it Big Weekend

My baby brother and his friend from undergrad flew into town this weekend. I mentioned previously that this was gonna be his "do it big!" weekend. Well we did it big. As I type this I have the remains of a hangover that started on Saturday morning before my brother even made it into town. Friday night I hung out with the Lakeview Critic and Ms. Bonnie. I stayed out later than I intended and had to finish up last minute preparations for my weekend guests. So Saturday morning was spent with a headache and queasy stomach.
Fast forward to 3:30pm on Saturday when I pick Baby Brother up at the airport. When he gets into the car I can smell the alcohol already. Apparently he had a very pleasant flight that included large amounts of alcohol. He makes me stop at a dauquiri shop on the way to my house. Now I could have just gotten him one and not myself, but noone wants to drink alone right? So we have the dauquiris and get him settled in. Then Kiff's (brother's friend) plane gets in so we head back to the airport. The two of them spend the next couple of hours talking over each other and drinking the delicious Firefly Rasberry Vodka and lemonade drinks I made. At this point I'm already feeling like I am down for the count and it is only 8:30pm. They walk around to the bar up the street and meet up with some of my brother's friends that he worked with when he lived in New Orleans. I wisely use this time to take a nap. The rest of that day is a little fuzzy but I know Alyson came to be our sober driver and took us to one of our favorite hangouts to meet up and have a drink (like we needed anymore) with friends. Not sure how the night went cause I woke up at home in my own bed on Sunday at 4 am. My brother tells me he carried me in.
We spent most of Sunday playing kickball and once again Baby Brother and Kiff drink like sharks!! An amusing sidenote is that Kiff likes to refer to himself in the third person when he drinks. He has spent the whole weekend drinking so he has spent the whole weekend in third person. For example when he was ready to stop drinking on Sunday he informed me by saying "The Kiff can't feel his face!" Ahh good times, good times. Today I am feeling every one of my 31 years. When I left them this morning at 8 am they were mixing up bloodymarys.

Why is the rum always gone?

So my baby brother (read-27 year old, deputy sheriff) is coming to visit me Memorial Day weekend. I'm excited for the visit because he is one of my favorite people. That doesn't mean that I don't do shit to him, but it is all done with love and a sincere need to see that pissed of look on his face occasionally. Anyway, in preparation for his trip, he mailed me a bottle of a rum. It was a brand I haven't tried so he was being nice enough to mail me a bottle. I did have strict instructions "Don't be tastin' it all up before he gets here". All of that is moot because when I go to pick it up, the package is damaged. I got a soggy box of glass. No fabulous new rum for me. Well my brother had insured the box. So he calls the post office in CA to tell them what happened and they asked him to show them the box. Hello? The box was mailed to LA!! Fools.
Enough about that. It is almost kickball season. That is part of the reason for Jason's visit. He joined my kickball team, The Hangovers, even though he no longer lives here in NOLA. Anyone living in our home town understands why. There really isn't a lot of entertainment there. So he is on the team and will be flying in to play in about 4 games during the course of the season. It will give us a chance to hang out and Do it Big!!! And noone does it big like us. Hopefully while he's here he will pack up and take the rest of his shit that has been taking up space in my apartment for the last year and a half!

Booze, Babies and Showers

Baby Fever has come to southern Louisiana.  I know a couple of women who are "the big P" right now.  So everyone knows that pregnant friends means the obligatory baby gift and shower.  I have no problem buying a gift to help a friend get ready for their own personal bundle of joy.  It's the showers that work my nerves.   And here's why:

1. The color scheme is always pink, blue or yellow, or the dreaded combo of these colors. (truthfully I just threw up a little in my mouth)
2. The games.   Who decided it was a good idea for grown women to play ridiculous and nauseating childish games?  I so want to tell the mama to be "Shoot your little seed out and make them play this shit!"
3. Current mothers.  The most annoying people at the shower are always the women who have  at least one child and feel that makes them an expert on all things vag and child related.  The fact that they feel this way is not a problem.  Their need to offer endless antecdotes and unsolicited advice is what drives me.   I have no kids but I do in fact have a working vag!! In fact, the argument could be made that I know more about it 'cause I knew not to stretch it out and abuse it with a shitload of younguns! Sometimes I just want to say, "your kid is a freak of nature that will be beaten up in junior high, pass the chips and dip!"  But you can't say these things.  So I smile, nod occasionally and keep my mouth occupied with food.
4. Gifts.  Why must each gift be passed around and  oohhed over?  Just open it and hold it up.  Then add that shit to the pile.  I could live my life without having to discuss how usefull the new diaper genie is.
5. Lack of alcohol!! Room full of grown women drinking watered down punch or soft drinks.  I understand why the mother to be can't drink, but what about me?   I don't mind splitting the ginger ale from my Maker's and Ginger with the knocked up guests.  It's not my fault you are preggers.  You did that shit to yourself.   I have been very responsible and managed not to get knocked up... that alone deserves a drink!! (If I ever decide to breed I will definitely serve alcohol at my baby shower.)  This might be my biggest issue with showers.  I think the addition of alcohol would go a long way towards making the previously mentioned things more palatable.

 I can't be the only one who feels this way.  So de-lurke and leave me a message.  If you think I'm completely wrong, then let me know why.  I don't want it to seem that I'm anti-baby because that isn't true.  I love babies and I'm always happy when my friends and family are able to experience the joy of life.  It's the showers I hate!!