Randomness Thy Name is Wal Mart

Last night I decided to make a quick trip to Wal Mart. I know I should have super middle class ethical issues with their labor practices and so on, but when I'm in a hurry I know Wal Mart will have what I need. Plus even with their horrible labor practices I remember what a help it was financially to my small town when Wal Mart came to town. They employ a lot of people. So there.
Back to my story. I just need a short list of things. Ice cream, leave in conditioner, a book, and the ingredients for caprese salad. That's it. No more, no less, no muss and no fuss. Wrong! It all started in the parking lot and if I was smart I would have just gotten back in my car and put the foolishness off for another day. I park and step out of my car and a young underage worker whistles at me. I give him the "I am old enough to be your mama, if I slutted it up early on in high school look!" He gets a little embarrassed and quickly finds something else more interesting. The security guard who is 300lbs if he's an ounce and doesn't appear to be at the top of the securitizing game laughs and tells me I just "stole that boy's man hood". I shit you not, that's what he said to me. Strange, but whatever. I need my leave in conditioner. I'm cruising the isles doing a good job of not getting too many things I don't need right now and getting what I came for. Suddenly the fine hairs on the back of my neck stand up. I glance around and make eye contact with a migrant worker who is eye-balling me. I give him the blank face to discourage any conversation. I just need my conditioner. He says nothing and continues with the eye-balling. I go about my shopping and he follows me. Just to make sure I wasn't being paranoid I head to the feminine protection isle. If he follows there I know he is following and not just shopping. Oh he follows all right. He says nothing just follows and eyes me. Finally I can't take it anymore. I turn to him and ask what he wants. In broken English he asks me to have a drink with him. I tell him thanks, but no thanks. This should be the end. Nope, this is my life we are talking about and that would be too easy. I pick up tampons... Super Heavy Flow and wave them at him. He calmly hands me panty liners. What kind of fuckery. I want to laugh, but I don't want to encourage him. I throw the box in my cart and head off. He followed me almost the whole time I was there. I quickly head to the checkout 'cause I've had enough. The checker asks to see my ID because I'm purchasing alcohol. No problem... the picture is before my big chop so she squints at it for a while before handing it back to me. She then tells me I never should have destroyed such pretty hair. She is much older than me so instead of telling her to mind her f'ing business, I smile and say it will grow back. At this point I just want to leave. I pay for my purchases and rush home. While I'm putting my things away I notice two things. One, I bought a box of Super Heavy Flow tampons that are large enough to be used to stop a levee break (obviously not the size I use), and two..... no leave in conditioner.